Happiness? In This Day In Time?!

Happiness. It's something we all strive to get out of life, but how many us really know what it is? How do you find happiness (or does it find you)? How do you know where to look for it? Is it really always as easy as "following your heart?" And most importantly, how do you know when you've found it?

If following your heart down the yellow brick road leads to happiness then why isn't everyone happy. In the end people always do what they wanna do so why didn't it yield the happy ending that the person expected it to? For an example, let's say that a 19 year old girl says, "My parents want me to finish college before I get married to my boyfriend, but I really love him so I will marry him and worry about school later."

So she follows her heart and marries her 'dream man.' Seems simple enough right? But five years and two babies later when she never finished college and her same dream man comes into the kitchen and tells her it's (meaning their marriage) not working out and he doesn't want to be with her anymore, then what does she do now? She clearly probably isn't going to be happy anymore (if she ever was before). Why didn't following her heart equal the perfect ending? The answer is clear; she didn't use her head enough in the equation. Planning can never lack from your dreams and overall goals. She should have planned ahead for this day even when she was sure it would never come. Now she's stuck with young children and no education to help her land a good job and make real money to support herself and children. She's really up sh*t creek without a paddle and is also at the mercy of her lawyer as far as finances go. If her attorney fails to do a good job in representing her in the divorce and get her what she needs financially, she's left up to he own devices to provide for herself and her kids.

There's nothing wrong with doing what your heart says, as long as you use your head too. There must be a balance.

Moving on, if money and material assets bring happiness, then why do so many celebrities (I hate that word but okay) and rich people do drugs, jump from relationship to relationship, kill themselves, go in and out of expensive rehab centers, and even catch a case and wind up in prison? The answer is clear here also; money and wealth don't bring happiness by itself. A person must already be happy with who they are before any of that other material crap comes into play. If a person already has deep rooted issues with self-esteem, mental issues, addiction, money can magnify those problems...it doesn't cure them.

I believe that happiness isn't something that you "find" it finds you. It happens when you are content with yourself as a human being. Even if you're not wealthy, rich, married, have your dream job, a model, or anything else you want to achieve in your lifetime, you can still be happy because happiness isn't a destination, it really is a journey.

24 Hours

Dear ***,

I get so run down and irritated by your present state. I know that it's not all your fault, but I just wonder why you can't just try harder to feel better. I miss the old you. It hurts to see you this way. I hate how important things (including your health) fall by the wayside and all you really have the energy for is to sleep these days. There's only so much I can do to keep us afloat and everyone's spirits up. I'm wearing thin and it hurts to be so close to breaking. I feel like I need you more now than ever and you're missing out. I always worry about you and if you're gonna make it through. 90% of the time you're only here in the physical but in no other sense. I just don't know what to do anymore, just like I don't know why I'm writing this when you're never going to read it anyways....

Sincerely,
Gabe

Can You Talk About Nothing Else?!

I think that this Swine Flu hysteria has gotten way out of hand. The media's coverage of this is not proportionate to the threat (which is usually the case). Okay, I can understand wanting to be educated about the situation and being a little bit more cautious (i.e. carry pocket size hand sanitizer), but most people are just panicking and aren't making any effort to actually learn about it. C'mon, wearing medical masks to work in NYC??!

This is not another plague or pandemic. I have heard people saying some of the craziest things about this on TV and from peoples' conversations and blogs. Over excessive media coverage plus an uneducated public always equals chaos. Alright here's the facts, an outbreak of swine flu that is suspected in more than 150 deaths in Mexico has sickened some dozens of people in the United States. However, did you know that even if there are Swine Flu deaths outside Mexico (which medical experts say there very well may be), the virus would have a long way to go to match the roughly 36,000 deaths that occur each year in the U.S. from our plain old seasonal influenza. The U.S. Seasonal Flu has killed almost 13,000 people since January 2009 alone. So,my question is, if people weren't freaked out by the seasonal flu that comes every year and kills over 30,000 people, why now?

New Hampshire Number 5????

The New Hampshire Senate voted yesterday to allow same-sex couples to marry, setting the state in motion to become the fifth in the country to legalize same-sex marriage. In a 13-to-11 vote, the state's Senate passed the bill and now it is all left up to Governor Lynch (who is a Democrat) to either pass it by signing it into law or veto it. The Senator has been a an opponent of same-sex marriages in the past so it is unclear what he will choose to do. I am hoping he does the right thing and joins his fellow New England states in the movement for equal rights for all. Massachusetts and Vermont already allow same-sex couples to wed.

Give Me The Run Down Please

Today was a busy day. I went to Daytona Beach, copied some DVD's (which I still have to go back in the morning and finish), missed an award ceremony which it was okay because I didn't win anything for the first time in 3 years (I did however receive an honorable mention), decided today that I am going to sell my own handmade jewelry on Myspace, went on a double date with a Nigerian boy,was showered with compliments, went to a graduation party, and drove home at night for the first time in like 5 months. I am beat now. I'll write more tomorrow.

Swing Swing

Damn it. He didn't call back. Whatever. At least he called me last night...but he said he would call tonight too:/ Ok, I'm done talking about guys for awhile and trying to decipher they're crazy ass behavior. It's pointless really. Moving on now, so you might want to know what I did on my first official day of not being a college student (even if you don't want to know I am still gonna tell. lol! Aren't I great!?). I actually slept most of the day and then got up and got dressed just to go buy these cute little white sandals with heels that are going to make great beach and halter-top- matching sandals. They have flowers and rhinestones:)

Anyways, today I called and officially deferred my internship until the fall term of 2009. The reason is because I am: 1. not in the right mindset to graduate college and then rush off to D.C. to start an internship on Capitol Hill all in less than 3 weeks. I need a break (and I mean more than just a kit-kat). I want time to decompress and enjoy not being a college student for awhile. I want a free summer; something I haven't had for the past 5 summers. At least in the fall I will get 15 weeks instead of 10 to be in D.C. and enjoy the atmosphere. I will also get more scholarship money:) Probably even a free ride, which equals all $5,860 paid for in full by the Federal Government. I just hope that I don't go stir crazy from being in skanky Lake County knowing that I could have been in D.C. lol. But I know that I am making the right decision. If I hope to land a job from this internship I can't afford to go up there already burnt-out. I need to be rejuvenated and at my best.

I am currently working on my application to American University and George Washington University. I have decided that I need to be in D.C. At a time where the first African-American is serving as President of the Free World. What history! That is something I'll be able to tell my grand kids. Not only was I alive when the first Black man was elected President but I lived in the nation's capitol city while he was serving. I am such a dork I know lol. But I am really excited. Oh, I have decided that I want to study public policy and Law in grad school. Wish me luck on my applications! I once thought I would like to stay in Florida and go to UF where my momma and like all her family have gone, but that was before I made the decision that I really want to be involved in politics.

And today I was just thinking how it's kinda funny that basically all those kids who either made fun of me in school for being smart or a little plumper than them, or the ones who didn't like me because I am Black, betrayed me, or the fake people who just quit speaking to me for no reason but still found it necessary to talk behind my back, or just the average haters; they are all pretty much losers now. I am not usually the one to be all high and mighty or think I am better than anyone, but it always works out that when you make fun of someone else or point out flaws in others while ignoring your own you always seem to fall shorter than them. I guess no one told them that...until now. When I say losers I mean they either flunked out of university and are now back at a community college, got pregnant prematurely, are in a bad relationship and living with their parents, had to move back home because of major money issues, have been arrested, or just became alcoholics and obsessive partiers working dead end jobs by day. Either way I win. I'm single, young, educated, getting ready to graduate college in less than ten days, and I have a great internship to look forward to in a place out of this dead town. So the moral of the story is, don't put down others for not meeting your own superficial standards, because one day the same person you look your nose down at might just wind up making fun of you because you're a loser.

Bitch, I'm like the ring leader. I call the shots!

Glorious Day

Today I completed my last day of college! I am just waiting on May 9, 2009 to graduate officially when I walk across that stage. I can't even imagine how I'm going to feel then. I picked up my cap and gown this morning and took my final exam. I am so thankful to God for allowing me to complete another milestone in my life. I feel so blessed for being able to accomplish this.

Please Don't Scare Me

I am more than a little freaked at the thought of a close relative of mine going into the Army. Don't get me wrong, I whole heartedly support and am extremely grateful for American troops and the millions of men and women serving our country in the armed forces; it's just that I never pictured that this particular person would do it. Of course, I have other family that are in the Air Force and I have family members in the Marines and Army. We definitely are no stranger to service to the Government in our family. It's just that I feel strongly that this particular girl has been cornered and pushed to this decision. She is looking to it as a last resort and a solution to money issues. And while I believe that she has the heart to accomplish whatever she sets her mind to (she has surprised me more than once), I just don't feel she has the stamina or mindset to be a success in that area. I just don't know how to feel about it. I wish she would at least stay with her parents and finish her AA degree first (she's only a got a year or so left), but she is looking to the Army as a solution to those two things too so that argument is moot to her. I really don't know why I posted this...I just needed to get it off my chest. I mean maybe I am completely wrong and this is really meant for her to do and I am just worrying about nothing. But what if I'm right? That's what scares me so bad. I can just only pray that if this is not meant for her she realizes it soon enough to pull out before it's too late. I just hope that it doesn't take a trip to Fort Leavenworth for her to realize she made a mistake.

Yay For College $!

President Obama said this past Friday that he would like to see the Federal Government replace private lenders as the primary financier for college educations. That's great news because the current federally subsidized student loan program we have in place now is shit to put it simply. Making college more affordable for more people is the main idea behind this guys. Even though someone ho doesn't have the money to pay for school right out can usually qualify for a loan, the loans usually have such high interest rates that people shy away from doing that sometimes. Instead they opt to either go to a community college (which I have nothing against community colleges ) where credit hours are cheaper so they can work a full or part-time job and try to pay for each class before you know it, they wind up taking 4-5 years just to get a damn AA. Students are backed into a corner really when dealing with student loans. Even though I was blessed enough to attend college for free because of my academic scholarship, there is a good chance that for grad school I will have to borrow money and I would love to not have to worry about sky high interest rates once I receive my degree and land my first major job.

The federal government used to be the biggest lender for students in the 1970s, but that shifted toward private lenders during the Bush era. President Obama is also pushing for a $500 annual increase in Pell Grants for each economically eligible student, bringing to $5,500 the total a recipient can receive each year. He wants to see the formula for determining the amount of Pell Grant money each student is awarded changed. Congress sets the rate annually, but Obama called for taking politics out of the process and tailoring it to economic conditions. Finally, someone on Capitol Hill recognizes the need for education loan reform! However, Congress must approve Obama's new financial aid proposals before they can go on the books. The Federal Government should take the reigns as the primary provider of education monies. Dealing with the Federal Government is usually always better than dealing with private lenders. You have a better chance of receiving more ethical treatment since at least the Government has some restraints and operates in the public eye for the most part.

The Climb

My last day of college is this coming Monday! On April 27,2009 I will finish my last day of school at BCU. *applause from audience here* It has been a long, hard road for real. But to be honest, I have had a lot of good memories made at my college and I am going to miss it. I have love for my school and my classmates who have become more like family over the past 4 years. Wow, it doesn't seem like it's been that long already. Anyways, I am probably even going to cry on graduation day (I can be such a sappy sap sometimes). I am just so thankful to God for being able to complete another milestone in my life. This journey, mixed with all of it's trials, tribulations, laughter, tears, good times, fun memories, surprises, and stress; really has been a blessing. Looking back on it all, I can say that I am sincerely happy with how everything turned out.

Did That Really Just Happen?!

I was supposed to re-present my senior dissertation today on the account of me not being professionally dressed the first time I did it (Wednesday April 22, 2009); even though I already got my grade and passed my dissertation on Wednesday. So this morning I had to get up at 5:15AM in order to be at the Civic Engagement Center at 7AM (I live an hour away from where I attend school and drive everyday). I got there and it wasn't even open yet. I just laughed (half out of frustration and half out of general amusement since our teacher told us that it would be open). At least Jeremiah kept me company and kept me laughing until 8AM when it finally did open. Today, I listened to the last of my classmates present their research which was really good. I had to leave for like 30 minutes though to go take a test in another class, but I came back as soon as I was done (defenses of research usually take about 40-50 minutes per person).

Getting back to this morning, the teacher came late (and when she did finally get there she made such a big deal about how 'nice' I looked in my professional suit, and then she asked the class didn't they agree that I looked great too. Which they didn't really give a damn because by this time we had been sitting in defenses all week and were just ready to be done. However, some of my classmates did make comments about how nice my shape looked in my dress suit before she got there, so I guess that I really did look pretty good). So, I was supposed to present at 8AM like she told me, but then when she came up to me at about 8:30AM (colored peoples time is a bitch lol!) and said she wanted me to go second, I was like okay. When it came time for me to go second she then told me that she wanted me to go third. I was pretty surprised and thoroughly pissed by now since the only reason I woke up at 5:15 AM was to get there early and set up for my "re-presentation."

Then after that she kept pushing my presentation further and further back. After the last person who was originally scheduled to present on today finished, I went up to the podium and she called me back. I was like what's wrong, didn't you tell me I was supposed to re-present my research again today in professional dress? I am going to go or not? She then said this to me,"Gabrielle, my plan was never to have you to present again today. Because you failed to meet my expectations on Wednesday when you showed up not dressed the way I asked, I failed to meet your expectations of re-presenting today. My plan was to keep you in suspense all day and to get you in professional dress." Sooo, After KeKe and I had done all that work on making my presentation perfect for the 're-presentation,' and after I had spent almost all of the previous night going over my defense again, worrying and dreading the next day....for absolutely no reason at all. That was very upsetting...I felt like an ass obviously. No wonder I can't hardly stand people now.


And it was at that very moment that two things began to make perfect sense to me: 1. why most people don't go to college and, 2. why so many professors at my school have private bodyguards assigned to follow them everywhere that they go on campus.

Defend This

Okay, so here's the deal, I passed my dissertation but I still have to present it all over again on Friday April 24, just for the hell of it based on some stupid ass technicality: I wasn't professionally dressed (shoot me why don't you). I am a firm believer that it doesn't matter what you wear but rather what you know. You could be up there presenting in a damn paper bag and if you know your shit inside and out like I did, then you're still better than someone wearing their Easter Sunday best who doesn't know quantitative methods from qualitative. My school (and especially my thesis instructor) takes itself way to seriously. I guess it's that black mentality: we don't care what you do or say as long as you look good doing it. That's the kinda stuff that helps perpetuate many of those negative stereotypes about African-Americans. Yeah, I am extremely honest with everyone around me, even my own race! That's the same type of mentality that makes people look their noses down at HBCU's (Historically Black Colleges and Universities) and not want their child to go there or they don't want to donate money to it. Everything has to be so showy for some reason. I am a simple chick (even though I do have some diva tendencies lol) who just likes to kick back in jeans and t-shirts and a pair of flip-flops and I see nothing wrong with that! I think it shows I have more character than those drones in three piece suits.

Anyways, most workplaces don't even have 'professional attire' anymore; it is way more laxed. Like dressy casual (what I was wearing when I presented). I had on a pair of black slacks, a pink collared button up shirt (that should have been a big enough sacrifice for them right there!), and a pair of NICE black wedge sandals. Anyways, she let me present and then waited until I did that all that talking and answered the panel's questions to pull me aside and tell me I will have to present on Friday even though I had already passed because my attire didn't meet defense standards. Bull crap!

All my other classmates came up to me and said that they think it is bogus and pointless for me to have to defend again just because of what I was wearing. I did amazing and they all told me so. I was able to answer every damn question I was asked. Do you know how hard that it? EVERY DAMN QUESTION THE PANEL THREW AT ME I WAS ABLE TO ANSWER ACCURATELY! OK, if you wanna dock a few points from me do that, but don't make me go through that whole damn 40 minute process again! It seems that for my whole life people have always felt the need to single me out and try to tear me down for one thing or another. Okay, so I am a little unorthodox, alright, so I complete tasks a little differently, okay so I am a little different than you and most, okay, so my brain works differently and I perceive things different that you. You know what?! THAT'S OK! THAT'S WHAT MAKES ME AMAZING AND YOU JUST ANOTHER PIECE OF NOTHING, LIKE ALL TOO MANY PEOPLE ON THIS BLASTED PLANET.

Let me take time to remind you that most great minds were different and considered 'weird'. To be successful you gotta go against the grain and stand out a bit (or as in my case, I guess a lot). Most bizarre people turn out to be geniuses in disguise. Examples given: Albert Einstein and Mark Twain. But even though people thought they were strange and crazy those same people who picked on them knew that they could never even hope to be as smart as them. It's just like Eleanor Roosevelt (yes Eleanor, not Marilyn Monroe as much as I love her) said, "Well-behaved women rarely make history." So not only am I gonna make history but I am going to start my own damn movement! That's okay, because at least I'm the only one out of the class of 2009 graduating political science majors who will be on the defense DVD twice lol! More exposure. People can keep hating all they want because that's how I got famous! xoxoxo.

Today Is The Big Day

I defend my dissertation today at 10:30AM and I am super anxious. I feel ready and I know my stuff but I am just nervous because I just want it to be over with so bad. I am confident I will do fine. I have all my dicks in a row and the PowerPoint is great, the paper is super solid, and now I just need to get up there and start talking. I am always ubber nervous before speaking in front of someone or a group of people, but once I get up there and start talking I love it. I thrive off of the excitement of being the center of attention and everyone listening to me. I'm like the ring leader, I call the shots (lol!). Anyways, I just finished making the final touches to the presentation and I prayed and took my last anxiety pill for the night. I am now going to go get a good night's rest because I have to be up at 6AM. I have to iron my clothes (I hate ironing...I hate professional dress. I am most happy in a pair of ripped jeans and a Ed Hardy Tee). Anyways, pray for me or wish me luck (for my dearie Heather).

Fucking Rant

I am so super pissed off right now! I can't believe that the camera person I reserved a month ago to record my college's senior thesis defenses just cancelled at the last minute-which because of this stupid ass fucking group project shit is gonna probably hurt my grade. Let me take a minute to take you back so you can understand what I'm talking about here. Okay, so my college (even though it feels like fucking high school sometimes) makes all seniors do a senior dissertation and then defend it in front of a panel of random ass professors and their peers at the end of the student's last semester at the school (and no, I am not a M.A. or Ph.D. candidate. Just a regular B.A. candidate). I swear, we are the only damn institution on the planet that makes students write a dissertation for a freaking rinky dink B.A.! I mean, going to that college should be enough trial and tribulation to warrant the damn school handing over that piece of paper! So not only do I have to write a senior dissertation but I also have to do 10 hours of community service AND do a group project that contributes to the defense process.

For example, there was a group that was in charge of the hospitality shit ( submitting the invitations to the panelist and refreshments), a group for publicity (invite members of the school and community to come watch. yeah, things are pretty fucked up at my college), a group in charge of doing a video diary (something like MTV's Real World Confessionals), so that we can get each student's thoughts on their time at the college. Oh, and there is a group that was in charge of video taping people presenting and defending their dissertations to the panelist (this was my group and I was so happy that I was lucky enough to be chosen as the team captain:} SARCASM ALERT!). So, my camera person called and canceled, but thankfully I was able to get in touch with one of my instructors who is going to help us borrow a camera from the college's library so we can still save our grade.

Oh, and did I mention that neither I or ANY of my group members know how to use the library's 20+ years old camera? I am already sick to my stomach now. Not to mention that I have to be at everyone else's defense in my department this week (the political science department only has 13 people graduating this semester-I go to a small Christian college of about 2,900 students). This means that I will be getting to school at 8AM every fucking day even though my first class isn't until 11:40AM. I live an hour away from my university so that makes it doubly suck:/ I just want this week to be over. Someone pray for me please, seriously<3

The Good, The Bad, The Not-So-Surprising, And The Ugly.

Good News Always Comes First In My Book...or Blog.


The Good
As the GOP continues to down President Obama from everything from the closing of Gitmo to the release of CIA torture memos, not every Republican is singing the same sad song. Appearing on CNN this past Friday, longtime strategist and Reagan campaign manager Ed Rollins gave Barack Obama an A grade on his handling of national security. He said that the country is not at all "less safe" as some Republicans claim.

Rollins says of Obama, "I would give him an A," Rollins said. "I don't think we've lost one iota.... He's put a very strong national security team around him and I think he's made some correct decisions early on here that are keeping us safe."


The Bad
Well The Treasury Department is preparing a Chapter 11 bankruptcy filing for Chrysler which could come as early as next week. No big. Just another major company going under and helping to sink our economy further into the depths of Hell due to their irresponsibility and misuse of billions of Government bailout money. Yeah, corporate American sucks right now and I pretty much hate them all.


The Not-So-Surprising
Texas Governor Rick Perry who just two weeks ago suggested that Texas might want to secede from the U.S. due to Obama's economic policies, is now calling on the Federal Government's help to combat the swine flu. Gov. Rick Perry, in a precautionary measure, requested on April 25 the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) provide 37,430 courses of antiviral medications from the Strategic National Stockpile to Texas to prevent the spread of swine flu. Currently, three cases of swine flu have been confirmed in Texas. Currently only 3 cases of swine flu have showed up in Texas.


The Ugly
Swine Flu: an acute and highly contagious respiratory disease of swine caused by the orthomyxovirus thought to be the same virus that caused the 1918 influenza pandemic.

A never-before-seen strain of swine flu has turned killer in Mexico (more than 100 dead) and is causing milder illness in the United States and elsewhere. While authorities say it's not time to panic, they are taking steps to stem the spread and also urging people to pay close attention to the latest health warnings and take their own precautions.

Common Questions:
Q: How easy is it to catch this virus?
A: Scientists don't yet know if it takes fairly close or prolonged contact with someone who's sick, or if it's more easily spread. But in general, flu viruses spread through uncovered coughs and sneezes or — and this is important — by touching your mouth or nose with unwashed hands. Flu viruses can live on surfaces for several hours, like a doorknob just touched by someone who sneezed into his hand.

Q: How do I protect myself and my family?
A: For now, take commonsense precautions. Cover your coughs and sneezes, with a tissue that you throw away or by sneezing into your elbow rather than your hand. Wash hands frequently; if soap and water aren't available, antibacterial hand gels can substitute. Stay home if you're sick and keep children home from school if they are.

A link on the origins of swine flu: http://www.capitalcentury.com/1976.html

Weathering the Storm

Why does life have to be so damn hard all the time?! I know that in the end, what is meant to be God will always allow to find it's way; but it just seems so like nothing is ever gonna fall into place and be right. I hate complainers and whiners so I try not to do it myself but I am so letdown and broken now that I just can't help it. I was so looking forward to going to D.C. this summer, and I'm still going...eventually, but I found out today due that to some other financial reasons and obligations, that I might have to put it off for a couple of months until the fall:/ It's not the worst thing but definitely not what I want.

Unless, I can be blessed enough to have all my expenses covered, I am going to have to work and save up for the fall. This year has been full of trials for me. One of the worst things about this is my dad's disappointment in me. It seems I never do good enough for him anyway so why do I get so upset over 'failing' him? These things are always my fault, I did try hard enough, I didn't look for money early enough, I didn't network right, etc. My anxiety disorder and dealing with it all by myself, to my senior paper, right on up to guy troubles and feelings of being worthless. It's just been one mountain after another it seems. As soon as I get used to one difficulty or beat it, there is always another right on its heels...ugh! I was just on twitter a few minutes ago and I saw a quote from LL Cool J that said don't despise the bottom rungs in the ascent to greatness. That is really true, it's all part of the climb to the top. Nothing worth getting is gotten or accomplished with ease. The bumps build up your character and confidence in yourself and God all while helping to shape your future.

Anyways, in other news, I was watching the news tonight and I found out that the city where my high school Alma matter is (Tavares), is spending $75,000 in this recession to pay a person to help them develop a new catch phrase and slogan for the town, in the hopes that it will attract more tourists to the area. They want people to think of us after they stop in at Disney. Why would anyone come here on their vacation?! LOL! There is nothing here except some lakes and old buildings.... They are also spending a couple hundred thousands to turn a children's park into a water park. The park itself is so tiny I have no idea how they plan to make that work, but I am sure I will get a good laugh out of the outcome (like always). There are a few intelligent people in this county, but unfortunately, they are not the ones in power, the stupid lames are.

Just Keep Talking Baby all while you dig yourself in deeper....

Texas Governor Rick Perry is suggesting that Texas secede from the U.S. because of taxes?! Well, it's not exactly like we didn't see this type of fuckery coming, I mean the President is Democratic and Black. Heaven knows that those things alone strike fear and terror in the hearts of old, greedy, conservatives, but put them together and it's all too much to bear!

On Wednesday, April 16, many 'tea' parties took place around the nation from people protesting the new taxes and stimulus plan. Anyway, at one anti-tax tea party that took place in Texas, Gov. Rick Perry fired up the crowd with his shoutings against the federal government, President Obama, and the stimulus package. He also claims that Texas' economy is in 'fairly' good shape as opposed to the rest of states in the nation (uh, I guess that's what he calls a jobless fund that is facing a $447 million deficit) and that Texas could secede if it wanted to. He actually encouraged it. He said that Texans would eventually become so fed up that secession would become an actual option. As Perry was giving his speech to his 'Patriots' as he called them, crowd members were holding signs deriding President Obama and the Federal Economic Stimulus Package all while shouting, Secede!

Those tea parties looked like freak shows. Everyone in America has the right to protest, but unfortunately, they also have the right to be stupid as well. The economic stimulus package is part of a plan to stimulate the economy after what the Bush Administration did to it. $786 billion is no chump change, I'll admit; but the President is doing what he feels needs to be done. We as a nation need to come together and back our President and our Government at this crucial time, as opposed to bickering and . The other option (what conservatives are calling for), is for the President and his team to sit back and do nothing and try to wait it out, while more of the American people lose their jobs and more banks and businesses go under. These 'tea party' attendees are hoping for the economy to 'miraculously' turns itself around. lol! Like, that's going to happen. This is not a 'natural' little downturn in the economy, this was caused by 8 years of negligent spending and irresponsible regulation of big business. People seem to forget the fact that climbing out of a deep hole is a hell of a lot harder then digging it and jumping in!

Put A Lid On It Bitch.

It really irritates the hell out of me when people use words in incorrect ways or give them negative connotations; for example, words like gay and ghetto. I hate how people use the word 'gay' as an adjective to describe something that they is stupid or lame. The definitions of gay are: either meaning light hearted, merriment, and cheery or referring to a male who experiences a sexual attraction toward other males. Nowhere on this planet does the word gay mean 'lame' or not cool; so stop using it that way! It's ignorant. It's offensive. Why do people do that? That really bugs me.

And I also hate when people use the word 'ghetto' to describe something that they feel isn't upscale enough or up to par. First off, if you're gonna use the term, let's use it right. This word has had many different meaning throughout history. However, most people don't even know what it means or the word's origins. Ghettos were originally the sections of European cities to which Jews were restricted to. It was often sealed off with walls, barbed wire and armed guards, preventing people from entering or leaving.

Today, it is commonly defined as a section of a city occupied by members of a minority group who live there because of social restrictions on their residential choice. Let's be real, today it's a segregated mode of living and working for an ethnic group (usually Black or Hispanic) that results from biases and stereotyping where the people are forced to live in an area that's in slum condition. However, even when people are forced to live in degrading conditions, some of the best cultural phenomenons can come out of ghettos, like the Harlem Renaissance and hip-hop.

What I'm Listening To...

Recently, I heard two new acts that I think are really first class. I recently got into Kim Lenz's music, and have fallen in love with a little British indie pop group called the Pipettes. Kim Lenz is so amazing. This gal's sound is like a beautiful marriage between the voice of Elvis and Wanda Jackson. I am a bit of an old soul so I totally get into any music from the 1950's right on through the Motown Era. Kim Lenz is a rockabilly sweetheart. Listening to her really takes you back (not that I was alive during rockabilly's rule but you get what I mean) and it's like listening to my grandparents vinyl. I recommend that you take a listen if if you don't think that you're into that type of music-you might surprise yourself and wind up liking it;) The album is called It's All True and it's by Kim Lenz and the Jaguars.

And the Pipettes are equally amazing with a much different sound. Their sound is reminiscent of that 1960's doo wop pop. The all girl singers (backed by an all male band) released their first album (We Are The Pipettes) in the U.S. in 2007 but are just now starting to make a real splash here in the U.S. Their most popular single is "Pull Shapes." I truly hope you will give them a listen.

Vegan, Vegetarian, Carnivore, Omnivore...

This is a conversation between me and my friend Heather from Myspace. After I put in my status that me and my family were eating chicken and veggie lasagna, she sent me a comment that said enjoy that chicken with this link posted in it: http://www.freewebs.com/mycatmaggie04/428124353_f48e75b6dd.jpg Yeah. So we as usual began a debate back and forth about the merits of being a vegetarian versus having a diet with meat in it. Oh, and by the way, Heather is an atheist. I am going to post it and just let y'all be the judge. Well, here it is:


Me: Hey Heather. I saw your status...and the pic you sent me. Very disturbing but not everyone can be a vegan. Even the Native Americans and other peoples who were good to the land and animals ate meat. Not all animals that are bred for commercial use are treated badly and bred incorrectly.

Heather: Actually everyone CAN be vegan.. everyone just doesn't WANT to be. People put their WANTS over the animals' NEEDS. And the native Americans NEEDED to eat meat in order to survive. We do NOT. And EVERY animal raised in a CAFO is indeed treated inhumanely and ALL animals regardless of whether they were raised in a CAFO or not (your meat probably was) is treated inhumanely at slaughter. The fact that a living being had to die for your WANT says enough. Since when did death become humane under any circumstance? Hitler killed the Jews humanely- the gas chamber was pretty damn humane- just fall asleep but we still say it's wrong don't we?

Me: I understand what those who push for veganism for all are going for, but I don’t agree with it for a few reasons. First of all, this thinking assumes that everyone physically *can* be vegan, meaning they don’t need animal protein or meat. That’s just not true; yes, most people probably can be, but not everyone. Why? For most people, the liver can produce all the cholesterol you need by itself; you don’t have to actually ingest cholesterol in your diet. (And yes, despite its evil reputation, you do need some cholesterol to produce certain hormones, avoid osteoporosis, etc.)

No plant food actually contains cholesterol, only animal-based foods. My friend's father has this condition; if he doesn’t eat some every day, he’d literally be dead, because he would be getting no cholesterol in any form. Small group of people, I admit, but still there.Second of all, I don’t think any of us fully understand the fine workings of the human body (and I’m no doctor, for sure) enough to say that *everyone* can follow a purely vegan diet and be healthy. Not just that small group of people

I spoke of earlier who clearly need to ingest cholesterol, but those with varying degrees of need to ingest what is chemically a very different kind of protein than vegan-based foods but who have no exact diagnosis of any disorder. I have a couple of friends who desperately tried to become vegan because they so believe in it as a lifestyle, but they just couldn’t. They need to consume small amounts of meat regularly to feel their best.Third of all, although some would consider this less important than the other reasons, a lot of vegans have pets. So if you’re a pet “parent,” you’re an indirect consumer of the meat industry even if you don’t eat meat yourself. I have no idea how I’d feed my beloved kitties and keep them their healthiest were the meat production industry to disappear tomorrow.

Heather: Let's assume that 1% of 1% of people need some type of cholesterol to survive- that's no reason not to be vegetarian- vegetarians can even be ethical- getting their eggs from local farmers for in stance or even having their own chickens.That being said- that does not apply for the majority of people who simply have no excuse. And it is not true that you need animal protein (outside this rare condition you speak of) to prevent things like osteoporosis. In fact, vegetarians and vegans have a much lower occurrence of osteoporosis than non veg's.

As for your different bodies theory, there have, thus far, been no studies that show anything but positive benefits to human health including lower risk of high cholesterol, high blood pressure, cancer, osteoporosis, degenerative brain diseases, autism (a vegan diet helps control it quite a bit, ADD and ADHD and numerous other diseases. so... if not eating meat has any negative effect, the positive effects it has cancels them out a hundred fold. Your friends- they didn't do it correctly. period. there are, I'll admit, many people who try to become veg who do it incorrectly and become sick.

when i first became vegetarian I developed a major vitamin B deficiency. Now that I"m more educated, it's no longer a problem. Pets can become vegan. Dogs, being natural omnivores adapt to a vegan lifestyle easily. cats can also become vegan but you have to be a more active parent. the main producer of vegan cat products is veg cat. I think you miss the point of being vegan. The point is to create as little harm as possible.

Therefore, even if your pets do consume meat products for health reasons, you are still reducing your impact as much as you personally possibly can. (some cats must consume a small amount of meat due to urinary tract infections- mostly male cats who are not neutered) What it sounds like is that you, like most meat eaters, are reaching for straws in an attempt to defend your lifestyle and yet you've said nothing that justifies not being vegetarian at least and only a few minority health concerns that would justify not being vegan.

Me: I personally don't think it's healthy to not have any meat or animal bi-products. It doesn't make a bad person, it's just a personal choice like any otter lifestyle choice. I recycle, I live as an environmentally friendly has I can (and I am more environmentally friendly than most people). There are doctors with PH.D.'s who say that a full vegan lifestyle isn't healthy. Are they not educated too?! No, the answer is that they have read and done the research like the doctors who push for veganism and they have made their own decisions based on that like any educated person. Being educated doesn't mean that you have to agree the same. You can know what you're talking about and just draw different conclusions. I'll admit that there are some benefits to being vegan but it's not for everybody.

Heather: All studies have shown that a vegan lifestyle is healthier than a meat eating lifestyle. Not one has ever shown otherwise. If it comes down to choosing between information that says it's not fully healthy and that it's more healthy then you have to realize that there's nothing wrong with the vegans around now and that it comes down to ethics- murdering and torturing.. or not. And, if you thought it was for some reason unhealthy to be vegan- again.. you've not yet made even the tiniest case against vegetarianism (consuming eggs and dairy but not meat) AND you should at least recognize the unnecessary violence and inhumanity in CAFO's and decide to buy "happy meat" (the term for pastoral meat). Although I don't have the slightest idea how you think lowering heart disease and cancer are unhealthy. I think we may have different understandings of healthy.. by healthy I mean living longer.

Me: Becoming a vegan does not guarantee health. I know a woman who has been a vegan since the age of 9 and is now 50 and has had two strokes, has glaucoma, and has high blood pressure and cholesterol. Veganism is not a weight-loss diet nor is it a way to cure all health ills. We're humans, we eat meat. We are carnivores, that is the natural way for the food chain. That is how is has always been and will be. I urge you to read The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition. It is publishing a plethora of papers on vegetarian, vegan and plant-based diets and their effects on health as part of an upcoming supplement, so it’s a good time to take a look at the latest research.

Also, our ecosystem depends on us eating meat. Just like the lion who eats wilder beast and antelope to be healthy because that is what nature has mandated he eat, Humans are mandated to eat meat as well. When you switch to discovery channel and see a lion or tiger ripping into an animal it is very inhumane but we don't bash the tiger or lion or go kill it because we understand that is just nature and nature is cruel sometimes. It's the way the food chain is designed. I believe the same is true of humans and meat.

Heather: Who said it guaranteed weight loss? H ave you seen me? And I think you misunderstand the word Carnivore. We are omnivores. If someone tried to be a Carnivore they'd die from lack of nutrients. And I believe I've already stressed that being a vegan also means being educated in nutrition and still I've not heard a single argument against vegetarianism. lmao! I thought you said you were an environmentalist? Industrialized meat factories are destroying the ecosystem.. they don't do it the way nature does it sweetie. They are the biggest producers of pollution both on land, air and sea.

Me: the biggest producers of air pollution are energy plants, waste burnings from garbage dumps and landfills, and textile production. Pharmaceutical companies come in a close second.

Heather: lol okay okay.. you have me on a technicality on the air part of the pie. Still.. there's no denying that meat industry comes in very very close behind. Besides, Once I build a house I'm going to be energy independent, have no trash whatsoever and weave my own towels! okay.. not the last one...

Me: I know that it's a relatively small technicality but all the pollution, global warming, ecosystem killing can't be blamed on one source or one group of people. If every human made even the smallest lifestyle changes,not necessarily dietary, it would help to put the world back together. Not eating meat or eating meat isn't what's doing most of the damage to our planet.

Heather: Eating meat is bad for health, bad for the environment and ethically wrong. I keep wondering what your arguments against vegetarianism are?

Me: Here are a couple of my logic:When you get down to it, most animals, including humans, are naturally suited for eating other animals. It is clearly possible to have a healthy diet without any meat, but it's often a lot harder. When a vegetarian claims that you're violating animal rights, remember them that many researches can prove us that plants have some level of awareness of their environments. How can one argue about animal rights without knowing how much does a single plant can feel(or how much is a plant aware of what it feels) at all? Most vegetarians still use animal products in things like leather, glue, gelatin, and some pharmaceutic capsules.

There's hypocrisy in using some animal products despite claims to the contrary If we were made to eat only plants, wouldn't we have multiple stomachs, like cows? Our stomach's production of hydrochloric acid, something not found in herbivores. HCL activates protein-splitting enzymes. Further, the human pancreas manufactures a full range of digestive enzymes to handle a wide variety of foods, both animal and vegetable.

Not all slaughterhouses treat the animals with unnecessary cruelty. There are plenty of ways to make sure you eat well treated animals. What if I just ate free-range chickens? I do.Our bodies are designed as omnivores. Take a look at our dental records and our nutrient requirements.Your body needs protein from meat.I believe that a balanced diet is the healthiest so that means meat should be a part of it. man has been eating meat for thousands of years.

Heather: Okay.. this is going to sound harsh but I"m in a bad mood so I apologize ahead of time for offending you (when I get suicidal I also have a hard time candy coating things) Wah- It's harder? Big deal! You know what was hard? Standing up for freedom for slaves. Standing up for women's rights. THAT was hard- learning a few new recipes and actually cooking? Really? THAT'S too hard?

2. That's ridiculous. Firstly, fruits with seeds specifically evolved to be eaten. Not only that but plants do not have brains or nervous systems thus lacking the necessary parts to feel any kind of pain or discomfort. The only awareness they have is which way to grow based on photochemical reactions. No pain, no discomfort. Not only that, but you're completely ignoring the fact that I already stated a vegan's purpose is to reduce as much harm as possible. Plants, IF they felt pain.. which they DON'T would feel something greatly reduced to that of an animal.. which is stupid since they don't even feel pain so I don't know why I'm even bothering with a hypothetical.

3. You are again ignoring my statement of reduced harm. Also, Most vegans do NOT use leather products, gelatin, pharmaceutical capsules, etc. Even my beauty products are not tested on animals and have no animal derived ingredients.

4. Cows have multiple stomachs specifically to be able to break down grass. We humans cannot eat grass. You seem to be arguing with flawed logic that says we should not eat any plants whatsoever. It's evident that people can survive in a healthy way on a plant based diet.. no person can survive in a healthy way on a meat only diet. We evolved to eat plants whenever possible and meat when necessary.

5. Yes they do. And I do agree that happy meat is better than CAFO meat but no meat is better yet. But keep in mind that free range in the industry means very little. They have access to the outdoors but most don't even know what the outdoors are. They have a two week window in which they're allowed to venture out a tiny cat-like door onto a tiny area. Many are too crippled to do so even if they wanted to.

6. It is completely incorrect to say a person's body NEEDS meat. It can digest it, but does not need it. 7. A balanced diet means protein, not meat. Of which all vegans get plenty of. there are no health benefits to meat consumption.

Me: To try to equate women and African Americans with animals is totally unreal and degrading. Humans and animals are on totally different levels. For example, would you rather your dog get kidnapped or...your son? I would hope you would say the dog since human life is more valuable. Same with killing, someone's child being killed versus a chicken or cow or pig. Not to say that it's okay to light a cat on fire just because, but when it comes down to eating habits and the food chain, that's just nature. We are at the top of the animal kingdom family. No one in the civilized world eats Black people, Hispanics, women, or Jews....unless you're Jeffrey Dahmer. And while the fight for equal rights was hard, it was really sad how we had to fight to begin with we're all humans.

There is really only one race...the human race. We are all bi-ped, homosapiens, mammals. Color is just superficial. A cow or chicken can not claim the same. There is a reason they are called livestock rather than just pets or domestics...they are meant for human and other animal consumption. Plain and simple. We don't eat our cats but we eat chicken. Also, I know that plants don't feel pain. I put that in there hoping you would say something like you did: evolution and natural selection. Certain animals evolve to be eaten. Nature knows their place, it's time humans start taking note of it. Speaking of the food chain and food web, I advise you to look it up...NONE OF US WOULD EXIST IF ANIMALS WERE NOT EATEN.

Anyways, people are entitled to eat meat if they want to (I do), and animal protein is a good source of protein (this includes eggs), but most people eat far too much of it which is where your health problems come in. Moderation is the key. I know that for a fact all studies show that eating TOO much red meat(poultry and fish is not a part of by the way) does increase the risk of cancer, obesity, diabetes, heart disease, and mortality rate. I haven't had red meat in two weeks. The last time I did was at a wedding and it was a little round piece of steak...shoot me. Too much is defined by it comprising 40% and over of a person's daily intake and diet.

Reducing impact right? Studies show that animal protein is the best for human sustainment. I'll link you later. Why eat just tofu, processed/preserved, fake, not-as-healthy- as -the -real thing, imitation food? Raw food diet is better than vegan or vegetarian because at least you can have sushi (fish being another form of good protein). Most vegetarians use vitamin supplements which I again have a gripe with putting other chemical substances other than "food" in my body. I don't think it's healthy. Why use substances and chemicals made to imitate what is already found in nature. Native-Americans ate meat because they understood the circle of life and the food chain.

Technically, they could have survived on just the maize, corn, rice granules, and other agriculture they grew but they even knew it wasn't healthy. Shit, you can survive on eating just dry rice and oatmeal but I wouldn't recommend it. There is a lot of stuff you can 'survive on' but doesn't make it okay.And in fact, humans can eat grass.The Irish were eating grass as a last resort during the potato famine. It's actually part of the most extreme raw food diet (and I am not just talking about wheat-grass juice)

Once, again, check it out. Of course with raw food diet comes the very high risk of food poisoning but hey, reduce impact and die right? We are adapted to eat cooked meat. To say that there are no health benefits to eating meat is not correct. Just as many studies out there that state the benefits of vegetarian and vegan lifestyle, there are just as many or more that are against it. In any academic circle, nothing is absolute but anyways:

http://www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=4632

http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=116

http://www.drmercola.biz/2009/03/dangers-of-too-much-red-meat.html

http://www.iloveindia.com/nutrition/recipes/non-veg-dishes/goodness-of-meat.html

http://www.msplinks.com/MDFodHRwOi8vd3d3Lndhc2hpbmd0b25wb3N0LmNvbS93cC1keW4vY29udGVudC9hcnRpY2xlLzIwMDYvMTAvMTcvQVIyMDA2MTAxNzAwNDc1Lmh0bWw=

They said it better than I could.

Heather: The point isn't to put animals on the same level as human beings but rather to say that standing up for what's right is not always easy and it's rarely the norm. You're basically saying that animals are different so screw em. Who cares about their pain? Who cares about their suffering? They're too different from us. As for your kitty.. why DON'T you eat her? She's the same as a cow or chicken. She feels the same emotions, she feels the same pain and they're at least as smart (actually smarter). So why is she somehow more deserving of freedom from pain than they are? No animal evolved to be eaten. Every single animal on the face of the earth has one main evolutionary drive- survive. To say otherwise shows a lack of understanding of evolution and the way the animal kingdom works.

I t hink it's funny you're bringing nature into it since nothing that happens in a CAFO is natural. It takes 25 pounds of grain to produce 1 pound of beef. It takes 10X the to feed one meat eaters vs one vegan. Sustainability? Only in your dreams. Yes, veg's use supplements.. so do non veg's. It has more to do with how much attention you pay to your diet. Native Americans could not have survived healthfully without meat. Now we can. It's able to be a choice now rather than a need. Humans can eat grass if they really want to.. but they can't digest it properly. Which is why we don't do it. What you're doing is giving me straw arguments. They're old, tired and half of it's not even true. Some of it's just ridiculous. It's like talking to a religious person. Laughable and infuriating at the same time.

Me: Yeah, we're just going to have to agree to disagree. This is going nowhere.

MY CONCLUSION:

Ramble On Sista

I hope everyone has had a blessed Easter Sunday and celebrated with family and friends. Whether you painted and hid eggs, went to church, visited family, or just plain hung out, I hope that you enjoyed your day. My family painted eggs, hunted them, and then we all sat down to our traditional Easter casserole dinner. We have also been snacking on ice-cream and watching movies all day. :) The weather was so nice today also. It wasn't crazy like last week lol.

In other news:

The Obamas' dog has finally arrived at the White House. It is a six month old Portuguese Waterdog. The dog was a gift to the Obama girls from Senator Edward M. Kennedy of Massachusetts. They named it Bo ( because the First Lady's late father's nickname was Diddley. Get it? Bo Diddley). The Obamas are actually the dog's second owner. When his original family could no longer afford to care for him, Senator Ted Kennedy (who owns two Portuguese Waterdogs himself) found the dog a new home with the Obamas. That is so sweet! I am glad that they didn't use a breeder, but instead rescued a dog. Here are some pics of the Presidential pup and his new family:)

Get Along Lil' Doggie:

Moving on now, I never really understood doggie doors. I mean, I understand the logic behind them but why anyone would want to own one is beyond me. It's not just your dog that has the power to come in and out of that thing...I know people who have had raccoons, stray cats, snakes, big spiders, rats, and other dogs not theirs come into their home through those so called innovative little doggie doors. lol.

Hey, Do You Remember?:

Flying kites as a kid? I used to love that. Back then, the weekends were made for bicycle riding, cartoons, rollerblading, badminton, and kite flying. I have wonderful memories of being a kid and flying beautifully colored kites with tails and ribbons on then just as long as the kite itself. Sometimes, the kite would get stuck in the branches of the tall maple tree in our front yard and my dad would have to go up and get it and he'd be swearing the whole way up lol. "Damn it, why can't you kids fly these things over in the clearing?!" lol. Good times. My father is a real sweetheart though. He is one of those people who complain about just about everything and it's so funny to hear him, and what makes it even funnier is that he has no idea of how funny he sounds lol. He lives in a house with all girls and no guys except him. So yeah, we drive him a little batty. lol. He would do anything for his girls and his wife though. A real family man.

Anyways, I don't want to start to just ramble aimlessly (it is pretty easy for me to get to that point lol), so I am going to sign off and write more probably tomorrow. If I feel like it I might go and finish this environmental science extra credit project that I have been meaning to do. I just can't really bring myself to do it because it's 'extra' and I have a bit of senioritis right now. I also defend my paper next week (April 22) so I should start practicing for that too. See how you got me rambling again lol!

Ciao!

Easter Bunny? Eggs?! WtHeck?!

Okay, so we know that when most peeps (pun totally intended) think of Easter they think of The Easter Bunny, colorful eggs, Easter Egg hunts, and those super cute colorful baskets filled with goodies that you can find at like Wal-Mart, Walgreens, etc (Fact: once when I was little, like 7, my grandma bought me a 5 foot tall Easter Basket! Whoa! So many goodies were in there lol. I will always remember that. :) )

Anyways, many people don't know much about the holiday apart from what commercialization has done to it. In the Christian world, Easter is celebrated as the day in which Jesus Christ rose from the dead to defeat death and pay for human sins so we may be forgiven and have a chance at everlasting life with God. Easter is Jesus Christ's victory over death. His resurrection symbolizes the eternal life that is granted to all who believe in Him. The meaning of Easter also symbolizes the complete verification of all that Jesus preached and taught during His three-year ministry. If He had not risen from the dead, if He had merely died and not been resurrected, He would have been considered just another teacher or Rabbi. However, His resurrection changed all that and gave final and irrefutable proof that He was really the Son of God and that He had conquered death once and for

However, Easter didn't always start out as a Christian holiday. It used to be a pagan holiday and festival. The name "Easter" originated with the names of an ancient Goddess. She was known by Oestre or Eastre, and in Germany by the name of Ostara. Supposedly she was a goddess of the dawn and the spring, and her name derives from words for dawn, the shining light arising from the east ( Fact: Our words for the "female hormone" estrogen derives from her name). She was a fertility goddess.

The Easter eggs and the Easter Bunny were both born from Ostara. The eggs obviously represent fertility and the chicks represent new life and growth. Bunnies, brightly colored eggs, and chicks were all used in the festivities to celebrate Ostara's gifts of fertility.

Although, I'm Christian and I celebrate Easter for the first reason, I still enjoy coloring eggs and such. Most Christians do. It's just another example of how religion and secular traditions can intertwine sometimes.

One of My favorite Poems by Nikki Giovanni

EGO TRIPPING

I was born in the Congo. I walked to the Fertile Crescent and built the sphinx. I designed a pyramid so tough that a star that only glows every one hundred years falls into the center giving divine perfect light.

I am bad.

I sat on the throne drinking nectar with Allah. I got hot and sent an ice age to Europe to cool my thirst. My oldest daughter is Nefertiti. The tears from my birth pains created the Nile.

I am a beautiful woman.

I gazed on the forest and burned out the Sahara desert. With a packet of goat's meat and a change of clothes, I crossed it in two hours. I am a gazelle so swift, so swift you can't catch me.

For a birthday present when he was three, I gave my son Hannibal an elephant. He gave me Rome for mother's day.

My strength flows ever on.

My son Noah built an ark and I stood proudly at the helm as we sailed on a soft summer day. I turned myself into myself and was Jesus.

Men intone my loving name. All praises all praises, I am the one who would save.

I sowed diamonds in my back yard. My bowels deliver uranium. The filings from my fingernails are semi-precious jewels. On a trip north, I caught a cold and blew my nose giving oil to the Arab world. I am so hip even my errors are correct. I sailed west to reach east and had to round off the earth as I went. The hair from my head thinned and gold was laid across three continents.

I am so perfect so divine so ethereal so surreal. I cannot be comprehended except by my permission. I mean...I...can fly like a bird in the sky...

Chivalry? What's That?!

Is chivalry really dead?! Where are all the gentlemen at? Am I old-fashioned if I EXPECT a guy to hold the door open for me, or walk around to my side of the vehicle on a date to open the door for me? Is it wrong and not progressive of me to think that I should be allowed to order first when me and a guy friend are out on a causal date or having dinner after work? I have always thought that that is what a good gentlemen with respect and who was raised with manners should do for a lady. I have come to notice that all these things that I believe that should be done are all too often not done. So, that leads me to the question that you all probably knew was coming next, Is chivalry dead? And mostly importantly, should it be?

Chivalry is a term related to the medieval institution of knighthood. It is usually associated with ideals of knightly virtues, honour and courtly love. Chivalry started out as an ethical code in Medieval Europe. It was the honor code of the knight, having such primary virtues as mercy towards the poor and oppressed, humility, honor, sacrifice, fear of God, faithfulness, courage and utmost graciousness and courtesy to ladies. Today though, the terms chivalry and chivalrous are used to describe courteous behavior, especially that of men towards women.

I understand that we have come quite a ways since the Medieval Times and the Knights of the Round Table, but should good conduct and respect have to die off with them? Also, if women are proclaiming that they are equal to men and want to be treated the same as men, then is it contradicting to expect to be showed special treatment? I don't think it is, even though some may disagree on the merits of this being a 'modern' society so we shouldn't have to be bound by traditional ethics.

I, however, think that a woman can still be expected to be treated with courtesy and respect AND be able to hold her head high and be counted among men, because let's face it, women are never truly, fully going to be seen as equals in the eyes of men (even if Hillary Clinton becomes President). The reason is because, well, we're women and they're men. History has already kinda sealed our fate as always being a little lower on the totem pole and a little less capable than men (even though we work just as hard as them ad are just as smart). With that being said, women may as well go ahead and try to have our cake and eat it too.

It's So Hard To Please People

Fact: Sometimes I wish people didn't expect so much from me. It gets old. I am a regular 22 year old despite what you may think, and sometimes I just want to be allowed to be just that- a typical 22 year old gal. I am sorry that I don't have my whole fucking life planned out to a T yet, I didn't realize I was getting so fucking old so effing quickly. I'm also sorry that I haven't conquered the world yet and taken over the universe, forgive me. I am always made to feel like I have to carry the world on my shoulders all while being Ms. American Dreams and Mrs. Future President all at the same time. It really gets to me sometimes. A lot of times I feel as if you will only continue to love me as long as I continue 'to make you proud' by continuing to meet your standards of success. You don't give a damn about my feelings. Conditional love is not valuable to me at all. Newsflash: there is more to life than just federal jobs,college, 4.0 G.P.A'.s, and degrees. And you know what? I have decided that I am going to live for me and no one else. So you can either hate on it or learn to love it, because I am not going to live stressed and unhappy because of you.

Do Not Disturb!

Even though I know I am going to be homesick for awhile, one of the many things that I am really looking forward to about my trip to D.C. in June is the fact that I will finally get my privacy back. It will be like it was when I had my own place. I will be able to come and go when I please, get more shit done, date more often and date without being under a magnifying glass, and not have to worry about people always barging in my room every 5 fucking seconds. My siblings are constantly on my computer in MY room even though there are two in the entertainment room like 4 fucking steps away from my room....go figure! I know that me complaining about this seems trivial, and it probably is, but I just have to get it off my chest. It was a pretty hard adjustment to move back in with my family (I had to in order to save up more money for grad school, $749 a month for a one-bedroom apartment=not fun). Don't get me wrong, I totally love my family to pieces and there are some really fantastic perks to living here, like no rent, but a girl's gotta have her space sometimes. ANYWAYS, I am not feeling so hot, kinda sore, so I am going to log out and go rest.

In Love With The Illusion of Being In Love

What makes women want to chase after and be with a man they know will never change or be the man that they need them to be? Have we as women fallen so far that we have almost zero standards and are willing to settle for guys who make promises that they never intend to keep all while dragging us along for the ride? I have seen so many girls and grown ass women make this mistake. I don't even know if you can necessarily call it a mistake when it's done purposely. They will know that a guy is no good but will still try to build a relationship, and even a life with him thinking that he'll just magically change over night and wake up one morning and be the man of their dreams. I've got two words for those people, "You're dreaming!" You can't change a guy...or anyone for that matter. I don't care if you make him your boyfriend, marry him, or make him a daddy, if he didn't have respect for you before, he sure as hell isn't going to have any now, or later. When will they get it? I believe that way too many of us are simply in love with the idea of being in love. People are usually so desperate to belong to someone that they are willing to sacrifice their own long-term happiness for short-lived illusions. Being single isn't a fate worst than death my dear, but there's something else to be said for living a lie. I believe that Marilyn Monroe said it best, "It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone else."

They're In Love With Their Own Sins

I was watching the news the other morning and a story about Sarah Palin came on, yeah. Apparently, during a little-noticed speech to a GOP dinner in Alaska last week, Palin rattled on for nearly an hour on a variety of topics, including why she thinks she loss, the media, and actress Ashley Judd, and Obama. She blames the media for the GOP loss in the election. She says that their coverage of her was slanted and they didn't focus on the important issues at hand., whatever that means. I am sure she is trying to point the finger of why she loss at the media though. In reality, she loss because she couldn't deal with the media effectively and she didn't take care to build a good public image of herself. Both are vital to being President or VP. The media just shows what you put out there for them. If you constantly say moronic things, then don't surprised when the media paints you as a moron. Her next statement about Ashley Judd shows what I'm talking about.

In regards to Judd's efforts with the Defenders of Wildlife Action Fund, an environmental organization that has mounted a campaign against the governor to halt the practice of aerial wolf hunting in Alaska, Palin said to her fellow Repubs., "stand up to those goofy Defenders of Wildlife celebrity starlets who don't even know about Alaska." That right there says it all. She called an environmental organization 'goofy' which does not show any professionalism (nor intellect for that matter), and she attacked one of the spokespersons rather than the issues of the group. Let's not forget, this is coming from a candidate who had Joe the Plumber as their 'celebrity' spokesperson lol. Over 45% of people polled last week said that their opinion of Palin has gotten worse since the elections. She is not helping herself with comments like these if she is serious about running again in 2012. We already knows she's bold, now she really needs to do something big to show people she has real brains, political strategy and innovation, and that she can handle running a country.

Moving On

It is once again necessary for me to make mention of Hollywood to help illustrate another important point. Lindsay Lohan, in a recent interview, the 22 year old starlett admitted she is having trouble paying her mortgage and other expenses, and get this, she blames all the "sicko fans" out there that are obsessed with her personal life for why she can't seem to land a role. Once again, pointing the finger at others for your miscalculations and failures does absolutely nothing to help anybody. Instead of blaming herself for being addicted to the bottle and her partying ways, she lashes out at fans and the media. Even though it was her partying, drinking, and drugging all night and then calling in sick to work on her movie the next day. The media only shows what you put out there.

You really were the one drinking, smoking weed, and driving while under the influence of crack all those times the cameras caught you after you had crashed into something with your Benz, so why are you surprised that your career has suffered?! People hate to see rich, talented people who have the world at their fingertips throwing their life away over stupid shit...it pisses them off and makes them resent you because you don't realize how truly blessed you have been. She needs to take responsibility for herself being in the unemployment line, clean herself up, go back to rehab and take it seriously this time, change her lifestyle for the better, and maybe then the public, producers and movie companies will want to invest in her again.

Let's Go Number 4!

And the fourth state in America to approve gay marriage is....not California but the North's very own Vermont. We are moving towards an equal society very fast. Faster than I thought. I knew having a non-traditional, progressive President would pay off! Today Vermont became the fourth state to legalize gay marriage, and the first to do so with a legislature’s vote instead of a state supreme court ruling. Progression is a lovely thing:)

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

One shocking trend I have noticed among youths and young adults today, is that their respect and tolerance for older people is almost non-existent. It's not just the fact that crimes against the elderly committed by young people (ages 16-25) is up, but the startling fact that no one seems to care is what is what is really shocking to me. And even when they're not having violent crimes committed against them, they're still ridiculed, ignored, harassed, called slow-moving and out of touch, and just plain disrespected for no reason at all.

It's really disturbing to me that some of the most valuable members of our society are treated as though they're nothing. Older people have so much to tell and show the younger generations. They have lived through so much and they can teach us a lot if we'll only listen. You know they saw that everytime an elderly person dies, a library burns. They have a wealth of information and knowledge, but usually no one sees that until it's too late. Having lived through so many changing times and dynamics in history, they can teach us a lot about persistence and determination. They might not work now, but they were once the workforce and driving force behind the economy and we owe them respect for that too.

I volunteered at an adult day care center (a place where people who work and have older parents drop them off to be looked after because they can't be alone at home. when their children get done working they come back and pick them up at the end of the day) when I was in high school and the stories that the older people shared with me were amazing. We had three people there in mid 90's and one who was 102! I had one lady tell me how her and her family re-located to Florida during the Dust Bowl of the 1930's, another guy who was related to Al Capone shared with me some of his conversations with the famous mobster, the 102 year old man told about what it was like to read about the Titanic the next day in New York, one lady had fled Germany during the Holocaust. To hear them talk about stuff I can only read about was absolutely phenomenal to me.

I just hope that young people and America in general, realizes the priceless gift we have in 'old' people and start taking better care of them and treating them right.

Tell Me Your Best Horror Story

I watch the news daily, usually a couple times a day actually. I like to know what's going on and the news is one way I stay informed. If you have ever watched or read the news, you know how a lot of the stuff that is reported on sounds like it came straight out of a horror movie. It can be so heartbreaking, shocking, and most of all, depressing. Mother kills her son then takes her own life, a father of five picks up his children from the babysitter and then takes them home just to kill them all execution style because he is disgruntled about his wife leaving him for another man, a gang member guns down an 8 year old in a drive-by shooting, a man angry over losing his job walks into an immigration agency and kills 14 people, elderly couple nearly stabbed to death outside of a retail store, etc. Oh, and by the way, all the scenarios I just listed are real stories ripped straight from the headlines within the last 2 days. Hundreds of sad stories like these are reported on a daily basis.

It's really sad to see the state that society is in, and how some people can be so hateful and just plain evil. It's scary too. I look at all this and wonder, "Do I really want to have children in this crazy, psychotic place?" After hearing about stuff like this I don't understand how some people can not believe in prayer and God. If you don't believe in God or Christ, then what else do you have? Atheists' world must be a terrifying place. Horror with no chance of help outside of what mortals can do. No hope or faith or refuge from a world in turmoil. Praying for protection for you and your family is the only way to be.

Along with depressing the hell out of a person, the news is also responsible for desensitization of people. Many times we hear of terrible tragedies and often don't even bat an eyelash because we're so 'used' to hearing that type of stuff. It's like our emotions and hearts are tuned out. Is desensitization a defense mechanism for us that we use to help cope with the horrible things happening around us, or is it just the result of us becoming more like the world we live in: cold?

Iowa Now Known For More Than Just Corn

Yesterday Iowa's Supreme Court legalized gay marriage in a unanimous and emphatic decision that makes Iowa now the third state (Massachusetts and Connecticut are the other two) — and first in the nation's heartland — to allow same-sex couples to wed. California's high court also allowed gay marriage before prejudice and ignorant voters banned it last November. Now it's up to the California's Supreme Court to decide the fate of gay marriage in the state. Back to Iowa, this decision is a landmark decision and will be very instrumental in helping to get other states to also allow gay marriage. Before when it was just states like Massachusetts, Connecticut, and California that allowed gay marriage then it could have easily been perceived as extremism on the coast and not related to American core values, but now with a state like Iowa (which is mostly rural may I remind you) giving the okay, gay marriage can now be looked upon as being broadly accepted. Times are definitely changing for the better for same-sex couples and I really hope that California's Supreme court does the right thing and gives same-sex couples their rights back.

Get Educated: Affirmative Action

For those people out there who don't know what Affirmative Action really is about and what it does, I am gonna give you a quick lesson. Affirmative Action is taking positive actions to hire and promote qualified persons in protected groups. The protected groups are federally defined as: women, minorities (African Americans, Asians, Hispanics, Native Americans, Arabs), individuals with disabilities, and disabled veterans and/or Vietnam-Era veterans. As you can see from the definition, blacks aren't the only ones who benefit from this. In fact, the U.S. Department of Labor found that the group that benefits the most from affirmative action is white women (http://aapf.org/focus/episodes/oct30.php).

Now that we have talked about what Affirmative Action IS, let's talk about what it is NOT. Affirmative Action is not a hand out, it's not preferential treatment, it's not reverse discrimination, and it's not a quota. Affirmative Action is not a hand out because a minority or woman applicant must meet the same requirements as the white male applicant. Affirmative Action does not protect the under qualified. For example, let's say that a 20 year old Latino man was applying for a position as a cop and a 20 year old white man was applying for the same position. The requirements are that you must hold a high school diploma, you must have received at least a 70% on the written test, you must have passed the PT examination, and you must have completed the academy in the top 30% percentile of you class. If the Hispanic man didn't get a 70% on the written test he's out, if he doesn't hold a high school diploma he's not going to get the job, if he failed the PT or didn't graduate in the top 30% of the academy class then he's not going to be hired. The Hispanic man has to meet the same standards as the white candidate

Affirmative Action is not reverse discrimination. As I mentioned earlier, the only group not protected by this is the white male. White men hold 95% of the senior leadership positions in America and are 80% of tenured professors (http://www.southerninstitute.info/civil_rights_education/plessy5.html). Nothing in affirmative action says that an employer can't hire a white man, and as you can see from the statistics, that is not the problem. Affirmative action is not preferential treatment because an employer doesn't have to 'prefer' a minority or woman over hiring a man. He just needs to make an effort to diversify his workplace. This means that if you have a business and there are already 50 white men employees than you need to make an effort to hire some women or minorities. Affirmative Action is not a mandated quota. A school, business, corporation, etc. doesn't have to set aside a certain percent of their openings for minorities; those places do that on their own. That is the way they choose to make an effort to diversify their institution. Affirmative Action doesn't mandate that.

Affirmative Action is a hot topic right now and I hate to hear people talk when they don't know what they're talking about. If you're going to make a statement about something make sure you know what you are saying and please have all your facts straight.

How Lame Can You Go?

I am so tired of President Obama and his wife being unfairly targeted and trashed by the media. It's really lame and childish. They have the stupidest arguments too. First they say that they think Michelle Obama doesn't dress conservatively enough. She shows her arms and legs more than the the last couple of first ladies. Big effing deal! Most of the first ladies have been like 60 damn years old so maybe their varicose veins had something to do with why they always looked so matronly, oh I'm sorry, conservative. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman showing her shape! Her clothes are not too tight or clingy and they are not too revealing, in fact she looks more sophisticated and professional than Laura Bush did most of the time.

President Obama is a good man. He is trying his hardest in a bad situation. He inherited all of this shit, he didn't make it. I'm sorry that he couldn't be all white (sarcasm) and please every last conservative on Capital Hill (May I remind you that some of these same 'conservatives' are the ones who sat back and allowed Bush to do this to our economy in order to line their own pockets and try to maintain political power for their party. Bush is a war criminal and should have been impeached and the only reason he wasn't is because 'Conservatives' ruled both houses). The media has been allowed to say some of the most disrespectful, rude, offensive, and straight up slanderous things about Obama and his family and they get away with it because of his skin color.

For example, if McCain had won the election and people in the media and other politicians who were upset about it had come and said that they wanted the new President to fail, then heads would have been rolling. Those people would have loss their jobs and been severely chastised and condemned for it. Saying that you want your president to fail is like saying that you want your country to fail. Very unpatriotic don't you think?! The fact that this type of behavior is even tolerated is just one more example of how even in this time of extreme progression, there are still those out there who see race as more than just a superficial difference.

Being a McCain/Palin supporter or being skeptical and critical of President Obama's policies and decisions does not necessarily make someone a racist. However, if you are criticizing the 44th President of the United States, make sure that you are doing it for the right reasons....and no other 'hidden' factor plays a role in you attacking him.

Eveyone Needs a Little Inspiration

Today I had lunch with the President of my university and I truly enjoyed it. She really is an inspiration and a phenomenal woman who has accomplished so much in her life, and still continues to strive for more. She's a very caring President who always makes time for her students. She encourages community involvement and enforces the importance of service to your fellow man as well as being a great spiritual leader. I almost fell over when she told me that she suffered from anxiety disorder too. She taught me some really cool new coping techniques and suggested that I try meditation to help ease my mind. She also recommended the 91st Psalms to me to read each day as a daily affirmation. I am so grateful for the hour or so of one on one time I got to spend with her. She shared so much wisdom with me and gave me great advice and encouragement for my internship period coming up this summer. She also gave me a tour of her office, it's so big lol. I got to see the photos she took with President Obama when he came to our school. That was one of the highlights of the office tour lol. Today was one of the best days I have had in a long time and it helped to lift my spirits so much. <3