Why does life have to be so damn hard all the time?! I know that in the end, what is meant to be God will always allow to find it's way; but it just seems so like nothing is ever gonna fall into place and be right. I hate complainers and whiners so I try not to do it myself but I am so letdown and broken now that I just can't help it. I was so looking forward to going to D.C. this summer, and I'm still going...eventually, but I found out today due that to some other financial reasons and obligations, that I might have to put it off for a couple of months until the fall:/ It's not the worst thing but definitely not what I want.
Unless, I can be blessed enough to have all my expenses covered, I am going to have to work and save up for the fall. This year has been full of trials for me. One of the worst things about this is my dad's disappointment in me. It seems I never do good enough for him anyway so why do I get so upset over 'failing' him? These things are always my fault, I did try hard enough, I didn't look for money early enough, I didn't network right, etc. My anxiety disorder and dealing with it all by myself, to my senior paper, right on up to guy troubles and feelings of being worthless. It's just been one mountain after another it seems. As soon as I get used to one difficulty or beat it, there is always another right on its heels...ugh! I was just on twitter a few minutes ago and I saw a quote from LL Cool J that said don't despise the bottom rungs in the ascent to greatness. That is really true, it's all part of the climb to the top. Nothing worth getting is gotten or accomplished with ease. The bumps build up your character and confidence in yourself and God all while helping to shape your future.
Anyways, in other news, I was watching the news tonight and I found out that the city where my high school Alma matter is (Tavares), is spending $75,000 in this recession to pay a person to help them develop a new catch phrase and slogan for the town, in the hopes that it will attract more tourists to the area. They want people to think of us after they stop in at Disney. Why would anyone come here on their vacation?! LOL! There is nothing here except some lakes and old buildings.... They are also spending a couple hundred thousands to turn a children's park into a water park. The park itself is so tiny I have no idea how they plan to make that work, but I am sure I will get a good laugh out of the outcome (like always). There are a few intelligent people in this county, but unfortunately, they are not the ones in power, the stupid lames are.
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