Some Days You Just Can't Catch a Break

I always try so hard and have to deal with so much and it seems to never be good enough. I always come up short. As a result of me feeling this way (and probably the anxiety too), it doesn't take much to upset me, put me in a pissy mood, or ruin my day. I am working on getting better, but as you know like with anything else, change doesn't come overnight. Today, I woke up late ( I swear I can sleep for 9 hours straight and still wake up dog tired...), I had to take a shower but my dad was in his bathroom showering (yet another draw back of living with your family) and he always gets super pissed when someone else takes a shower at the same time as him because it runs out all the hot water quicker...he says since he's the only the one in the family who works 12-15 hour days, he shouldn't have to take a cold shower; which I can kinda understand but it still sucks none the less because it ran me even later than I already was.

I rushed around like a mad woman trying to get everything done so I could get out of the house. I had to ask my little sister (whose 17 years old) to fix me a bagel again this morning (which she of course bitched about even though she doesn't go to school or work). I finally get on the road and I had all the wonderful luck of getting stuck behind all the slow moving vehicles and school buses....*insert big fake smile here* I get to school and I just miss attendance (yes, my college must be the only one on the planet who takes attendance and cares about tardies and absents. It's a small Christian school of about 3,000 students if that helps to draw a clearer picture for you). by 30 seconds because I had to drive around the damn parking lot four effing times before I found a spot!

I know a tardy isn't the end of the world but I fought so hard to get here on time and I have so many tardies since I live an hour away from college and drive all the way here for class everyday...I sure won't miss that when I graduate lol. I was so pissed that I got up out of my seat after less than two minutes in the class and went out in the hallway and cried...only for about 3 minutes but the fact that I cried at all where people could see me shows the state of mind I am in. I just always feel so broken and down and like nothing I do counts for anything. I then pulled myself together enough to walk out of the building and come across campus to Harrison Rhodes computer lab, which is where I am sitting typing this. On the bright side, I did get to print out some articles I needed for another one of my classes later today. Well, I guess I should log out of here and go back to class and try to learn something the last 30minutes of the class...there is a test this Friday... I have been getting B's on all the tests and A's and B's on all the pop quizzes so I am not too worried.