Today I felt like total shit and I think I almost passed out while on the road-scary. I was trying to ween myself off of my anxiety meds because they have some suckie side effects. However, the withdrawal symptoms were just too much to take and I gave in...whatever. I am so fucking over being mad at this anxiety. I am just going to give up and take my fucking meds for the rest of my damn life I guess. Since everyone around me believes that this is something that I choose to have, my support system is pretty shaky. I cried today after I was forced by the extreme nausea, dizziness, fogged mind, and blurred visions, and muscle pains to take my pills. I could barely function. I wasn't even sure if I was alive or not. I swear this isn't fair. I was a good a person who helped people and never did drugs (not even weed or cigarettes) and barely touched alcohol and I still get this shit. I know I am whining but I can't seem to help it anymore. I am trying so damn hard to be positive and all but it gets so hard. I want the old me back. Oh, and I also found out recently that chocolate seems to upset my anxiety. I love chocolate but I guess I won't be eating it much anymore.
Damn it, I still don't have a job. I think I might have to start looking at retail even though I swore that this summer I was going to put my foot down and never work it again. For people who have or do work retail, you know how much it blows, for the people who have never worked at it, count your blessings.
Also, Oto still calls like 15 times a day. I am going to have to seriously change my number. He's getting very annoying.
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