Pay no mind to the title of this blog. I am just writing to help with my anxiety. My head has been spinning and floating at the same time. My mind doesn't feel like it's working and my depth perception is all screwed up (so even though I know that the keyboard is less than 2 inches away from me, through my eyes it looks like it's a mile or so away) The meds I take make me sometimes feel like I am floating out of my body. I know, it's pretty effed up. I am just trying to control my thoughts: fear of death, fear of being the craziness (pretty unavoidable in my life though lol), depression, and frustration. I am fighting the nausea and dizziness. I am tying to ignore my pounding heart with it's irregular beat and trying to get comfortable when I am all sweaty...great. Sometimes people need a vacation from being them. I am going to try some meditation. That has been helping lately.
Oh, and I have not picked up the phone or called him all day. I also put that bxtch on silent. I am tired of that constant calling shit. It makes me bat shit crazy and drives me completely up the wall! Why are the crazy, irritating assholes always the ones interested in me?!
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