Dreamland

I had a weird dream and I hate that. Here lately, whenever I have a nightmare or a strange dream, I wake up like still in a daze and confused. Foggy minded. It takes me a couple of minutes to figure out that I am awake and this IS real and that what happened in my head was JUST a dream. It's like the lines between my reality and dreamland are skewed. I have to wait until my brain can bring me back to reality. I know, it's very disturbing. I think the panic disorder or my drugs I take to fix the panic, is what causes it.

Anyways, I have realized that over the last couple of (a big couple of) blogs, I have been writing about my panic disorder and anxiety. That bothers me because I totally don't want my blog to be about panic disorder. My blog is about my life. I want my blog to be about ME. And ME is not panic disorder (well, not all of me at least lol). I don't want this to absorb my life or my blog. I don't want to always depress my readers who do suffer from anxiety, panic, bipolar, or any other mental disorders. And I don't want my regular readers to start to think I am crazy (well, crazier than need be:) So beginning right now, I am setting a new goal to go ten whole post without mentioning my anxiety/panic issues. So ten starts after this one.

Moving on, I called the Lake County Animal Shelter today, and they said that I can pick the dogs up at 10AM on Thursday, 6/4/09! I am so excited! Those little Jack Russells are the cutest things. Come to find out, one's a boy and one's a gal. The white and brown is the female and the black,white, and brown one is the male. My family has been trying to decide on names for the dogs every since this morning. I like Roxy for the girl and Mater or Tater for the boy. My sister likes Billy for the boy. My dad likes Omega for the girl. So I don't know what their names will wind up being lol!

Also, I spoke with my supervisor for my internship program in D.C. She said that there is a good chance she can get me morst or ALL of the money I need for the program and the move up there through scholarship (I have my fingers crossed for ALL of $). The total cost is $5,580 by the way. That is a lot to be paying out of pocket, especially in these hard economic times. I am also still holding out hope that the internship on Capitol Hill will be a paid position too. However, I kinda still like the idea of working for a federal agency like the EPA or Federal Trade Commission too. So, I don't know what I am going to do. Capitol Hill has best connections and networking opportunities, but then again, the Federal positions have the best chance for me to land a job with great benefits.

So if you're in to that sort of thing, just say a little prayer for me. For everything: the anxiety, panic, D.C., the internship, the tough decisions I have had to/have to make, the relationships I am dealing with, and the insomnia.

With Love,
Gabby